Sometimes I wish people didn’t believe me when I said I was fine.
Sometimes I wish I could start my life over as if nothing happened.
Sometimes I wish I could just explode all of my feelings and my whole life story out to someone.
Sometimes I wish I was someone else.
Sometimes I wish I wasn’t so scared of what people thought.
Sometimes I wish I was noticed a little more.
Sometimes I wish people didn’t judge me before they’ve even gotten to know me.
Sometimes I wish there were no stereotypes and everyone were friends with each other.
Sometimes I wish someone could truely understand me.
Sometimes I wish that all of the mean girls that put me down in the past get a taste of their own medicine and realize how much they put me through.
Sometimes I wish that I didn’t let my “friends” take advantage of me.
Sometimes I wish there weren’t so many fake people in my school.
Sometimes I wish I didn’t have to fake a smile at school to look happy.
Sometimes I wish I was in kindergarten again where nothing mattered except who stole my crayons.
Sometimes I wish I could just run away to another world where no one could find me.
i love being single. i love not having to make decisions. i love living life day to day.
i love having no responsibilities and no limits.
i love driving around in the car with the top down, my hair blowing freely in the wind.
i love blasting music. i love laughing till i cant breathe with my best friends.
i love shopping til my feet ache. I love dancing and fast heartbeats.
i love the feeling of exercising and getting into shape.
i love swimming at the pool/beach and just floating, enjoying the feeling of my body just being weightless as if the waters taking all of my worries away.
i love not knowing what’s coming next.
i love summer. i love life. i love being young.
It’s scary to see how fucked up our society is becoming. Girls are starving themselves just so they can get attention from that one cute guy that may never even talk to them. Boys don’t see that the things that they say really affect us. When guys see ‘chubby’ girls and they say ew, no wonder girls are developing eating disorders! Our society has developed it’s own definition of beauty. Our society has made girls think they need to be a size 2 to be attractive which is totally not true. If the definition of beauty gets any thinner no one will fit. Everyone gets labeled. If your smart, your a nerd. If your unique, your weird. If your normal, your boring. If people don’t like you they bully you and try to make your life living hell. They don’t think before they say things though, they don’t know how much their words can kill, because 750000 to 1000000 people yearly commit suicide from bullying. Sometimes I wonder how different our society would be if people weren’t so busy being judgemental. If everyone were just friends with each other, and we didn’t live in a stereotypical world, like at the end of Mean Girls where they all made a truce…but I know that’s all too good to come true. It’s hard to find yourself in a world so centered around perfection, when in reality imperfection is what defines us. I’m not going to let it define me, I will define it.
My life has been so much better since I’ve walked out of people’s lives. I’m glad I did. It’s like a whole weights lifted off my shoulders. I’ve learned to let go of people for the best. They don’t deserve my friendship, if they treat me badly. I don’t deserve the bullshit that they put me through. Rumors, lies, backstabbing, hurtful words, everything. I’ve realized it’s not always about having a lot of ‘friends’. I’d much rather have a few true friends then have a ton of fake friends that talk about me behind my back. My fake friends taught me a lot though. They make you realize how strong you really are. That you can stick up for yourself. Friends come and go, and all you can do is learn from it and understand that these things happen. They prepare you for other heartbreaks, rumors, fake friends, drama and other situations you think you can’t handle, but you really can. They help you understand that the friends that stay with you through everything and the ones that you don’t need to impress for them to like you, are your true, real friends. Whenever someone tries to put me down, I remind myself to get right back up, brush the remarks, haters, assumptions, lies, etc. off and say thanks for making me stronger, I’m done with you, your bullshit, and lies, and fuck you. Finally being able to surround myself with only people who are going to lift me higher. I have a positive outlook on life, now. I feel like I’m starting a brand new chapter in my book. Full of new changes to make, new people to meet, and new obstacles to cross. But, in the end, it’s only just the beginning.